This morning, feeling incredibly uncomfortable with myself, I logged on to my MyFitnessPal account (yes, I still have the app; it’s become somewhat of a metaphor for hoarding something you will never use again; yet here we are). Turns out, my membership (the month-to-month one that allows you to view and set goals based on macros) lapsed when my debit card closed for fraudulent activity.
For a moment, I stared at my screen, praying for the macros to suddenly appear without having to enter my credit card information again.
In my mind, as long as the opportunity was there, I was doing no harm by utilizing the macro services as I worked to transition into intuitive eating.
But I didn’t take into consideration a lapsed membership.
The last time something shut down without my prior knowledge, I ended up in rehab (my family’s treadmill broke). So naturally, I considered all the terrible things that would inevitably stem from this incident:
- I would gain 10 pounds because I would have NO IDEA what I was putting in my body
- I wouldn’t be able to eat out because there was really no way to track what was going off my plate and into my digestive system
- I would have to eat the same thing every day, consisting only of foods where I KNEW the macros by heart (#calorieaspergers)
- The entire world would combust
Then I considered a rare alternative: what if nothing happened?
What if I left the app alone, shut it down, and went on eating the way I had been, learning more each day about what my body likes and dislikes, and how it responds to various foods?
Even more, what if I didn’t update the app with my new credit card number?
What would ACTUALLY occur?
Chances are, nothing major (unless you count saving $9.99 every month).
Your body is not going to change just because you enter everything you eat into an app.
Your PERCEPTION of your body isn’t going to change if you consistently depend on entering every bite into an app with a very generic way of determining the needs for your body.
You know what knows your body’s needs better than an app?
Your body itself.
Is it crazy to think that you can live without the crutch of a macro calculator everywhere you go? It shouldn’t be.
I understand if you can’t bring yourself to delete your macro calculator or food tracker app, I get it.
But little steps are a thing for a reason.
Try tracking less, and then not tracking; don’t delete the app, just don’t open it.
Day after day, it gets easier. You will get closer to freedom, and your body will get better at alerting you of when it’s hungry and what it’s hungry for.
That’s called intuition, and it’s a real thing.
So is recovery….